I’ve been working hard on my 90 Day Ideal Client Success Leadership Marketing Accelerator programme over the last couple of weeks, and I’ve decided to include a short section on the art of Manifesting, otherwise known as the Law of Attraction.
So in my usual inquisitive style, I’ve gone deep dive on this subject, researching, buying and reading several books. I’ve even taken on a specialist coach to guide me through a short programme. Because I make it a rule never to teach anything I have not experienced myself.
I’m adding to the miracle morning routine I practise every day (exercise, reading, writing, prayer, affirmations and meditation) – which really helps my productivity and happiness, keeping me in a peaceful and calm state of mind.
Manifestation is about changing the frequency you ‘vibrate’ at. In other words, when you upgrade the quality of your thoughts, you upgrade the quality of your life.
Thoughts create Actions, Actions create Reality.
Your thoughts create your feelings. Your feelings create your actions. Your actions create your reality. As Napoleon Hill said: If you can see it in your mind, you can hold it in your hand.
Having an empowered mindset requires you to recognise and honour your emotions. I have learned how valuable it is to be grateful for the negative as well as positive ones. Feelings are signposts and helpful guides to get us back on track for our best lives. In fact, ignoring them in the past has what has got me into the MOST trouble. If I could go back the one thing I’d do differently is to honour and respect those voices! The negative feelings that connect most to my entrepreneurial purpose, and which I highly treasure and value, are the emotions most of us try to suppress or talk ourselves out of: jealousy and envy. They tell me so clearly and transparently what I truly want and need to ‘manifest’.
Another negative emotion that is both common and exquisitely painful, yet valuable in equal measure, is resentment. It’s so easy to build resentment, and left unacknowledged, it has the potential to do huge damage. Resentment needs to be fully felt, calmly and quickly expressed and then channelled into forgiveness. It’s the very best opportunity we have to step up to the challenge of connection with ourselves and others. What lies beneath resentment or any form of anger is fear, so when we feel resentment a question we also need to ask ourselves is – what are we afraid of and why? And then we need to find a way to deal with that emotion too.
Duality exists in everything
This isn’t an easy concept for many, so here are some specific techniques for owning and neutralising difficult emotions, that I learned from spending a weekend with renowned human behavioural specialist: Dr John DeMartini. He said that whatever people do that gets under your skin represents traits you haven’t yet learned to love yourself. So for every area of your life where you feel disempowered, you’ll connect with someone who is strong in that area. And they will connect with you. There is duality in everything.
He also said that we have to own the traits we criticise or judge in others, because they represent the traits we’re not honouring or recognising in ourselves.
Here’s an example: Identify specifically what the trait is, eg. bullying. What has the other person done that causes you to label them as a bully. For example: They insult me, or verbally attack me.
Next we need to own the Trait! We are all connected and we all have every trait. Therefore in essence we are all the same, but we express things differently. Although our form of expression will be unique, all traits are in every one of us, from kind to cruel, loving to uncaring, passive to aggressive. You possess all the traits all you attribute to others, which you assume or have imagined you don’t have. Reflective consciousness helps to neutralise what you perceive as a ‘negative’ trait. It’s just all part of being human.
If you’re troubled by someone else’s behaviour, ask yourself where and when you have done something similar to the action you’re upset about. You might think you don’t have this (bullying) trait at all – or if you think you have, you might believe you don’t express it to the same extent as them. But if you look deeper, you will start to see that you have also expressed this trait in various forms. When you realise this, it humbles you, and makes you more reflective and less reactive. It puts you in a place of personal power.
All your traits serve you. And the same traits in others do too, although you might not like the experience of them.
You can also ask yourself how does this trait serve me? How does it serve me (for example) to be a bully? See everything that happens to you as helpful instead of obstructive, on the way rather than in the way. That way you turn any experience or event into a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block. So to find the hidden blessing in your experience, ask yourself how can you use the bullying experience to your advantage? Did it toughen you up? Did it teach you how to communicate more effectively and stand up for yourself? Is the ‘bully trait’ forcing you to face the truth about yourself and become more real, self-confident and empowered? Keep looking for benefits until you see that you are receiving as many benefits as perceived drawbacks from the experience of the ‘bully’. You’ll know when you’re done as you’ll feel a sense of gratitude for the experience, and be able to see clearly how the benefits always equal drawbacks. If you don’t feel gratitude, keep pushing yourself to see more benefits, until you feel whole and at peace.
Next, ask yourself: what would be the downside if the actions or behaviour you experienced wasn’t there? Is there anything that would be worse if the person had behaved the way that you wanted them to? The more you look the more you will see that to experience the trait, or to not experience the trait, has both benefits and drawbacks and either side has both challenge and support. Life exists in perfect balance. This doesn’t mean bullies aren’t to be avoided, but by owning similar characteristics and behaviour, you can step into your power and make an empowered, judgement free choice.
Finally recognise that sometimes the bully is the perfect manifestation of what the disempowerment or change needs to be in our life. For example: If a mother is disempowered in business, and totally dedicated to her children, the husband might bully her with regard to finance decisions. At the same time she might be empowered in her children and social life, which is where she will bully her husband. Wherever we are empowered is where we bully others and we are bullied wherever we are disempowered. If we stop and reflect on that, we will recognise duality and find our power.
Why you must be kind to yourself
Something we must all remember and remind ourselves of is that we’re only human, so we need to cut ourselves some slack. Work on the 80/20 principle – if 80% of the time our thoughts are positive, it’s fine if 20% are negative. 80% of the time we should aim to eat right, and the remaining 20% we should indulge ourselves. 80% of the time we should practise positive habits and do ‘the miracle morning’ or another life affirming routine, 20% we should let ourselves off the hook because we can’t be bothered and feel like having a more fun or laid back day. And so on.
80/20 can be stretched to include ‘sprints’ and most high performers certainly do this. So for a short period, you can ramp up 80/20 to 95/5, but this isn’t sustainable for the long term.
At least, I don’t think it is. Please tell me if you’ve managed it!
Imagine Your Dream Day
Here’s a great way to get started. Spend a little time each day imagining your dream day. Write it down. Where are you, who are you with, what are you doing? The more detailed this description becomes, the deeper you are going into manifesting your dreams.
This morning I wrote about waking up in my dream bed. I engaged all my senses to imagine the crisp, freshly laundered white sheets. I envisioned the look and feel of the pillows and luxuriant mattress topper. The gratitude I would feel upon waking, as well as what I would see and hear when I looked around. I imagined the pocket doors in my bedroom ‘wall’ open, to reveal the wood floored corridor outside. I imagined wall to floor glazing and an unencumbered view of a beautiful forest beyond, with sunlight streaming through the leaves. I imagined the sounds of my early rising husband (another dream manifestation since I’m currently single) moving about in the kitchen beyond, and the delicious smell of fresh coffee wafting through the air. This was a truly enjoyable exercise as it harnessed the power of imagination and put me in such a happy place.
Manifest Wealth like Jim Carrey and Bruce Lee
You can use the Law of Attraction to manifest wealth. One famous example is Jim Carrey, who famously wrote himself a £10M cheque dated 10 years into the future for ‘acting services rendered’. 10 years later he was cast as a lead in the movie ‘Dumb and Dumber’ for a fee of – you guessed it – £10M!!
Another example is Bruce Lee, who wrote himself this mission statement and letter in 1969, which is made even more powerful through combining contribution and purpose with manifestation:
“I, Bruce Lee, will be the first highest paid oriental super start in the United States. In return I will give the most exciting performances and render the best quality in the capacity of an actor. Starting from 1970 onwards I will achieve world fame and from then onward till the end of 1980 I will have in my possession $10M. I will live the way I please and achieve inner harmony or happiness.” Four years later (six years ahead of his goal or CHIEF DEFINITE AIM), he had achieved this and more!
Manifest the Result of Your Wealth
You can use the Law of Attraction to manifest a by product of wealth, for example your dream house, dream car, or dream holiday. You can imagine taking your family to a special and beautiful place, enjoying exciting excursions that build treasured memories, and a family legacy of love and connection that will be passed down through the generations.
Wouldn’t that be awesome? Where would that place be for you? I love the Caribbean and my girls and myself love animals, so a looong treetop stay in the jungles of Costa Rica could be just perfect for this. It’s so much fun to dream about!
Some think the Law of Attraction is ‘woo woo’, and of course they’re entitled to their opinion. But my goal is to help you step into your value, and build your influence, wealth and success as an entrepreneur. Since some of the most successful, influential and wealthy entrepreneurs in the world practise these habits, if you’re of this mindset, maybe it’s time to suspend disbelief and consider how they could work for you too?
If you’re ready to leapfrog your competition to become a valued brand in your sector, stand out for your difference – and build a powerful system that gets your ideal clients, investors or partners to choose you first – I invite you to book a call: https://bit.ly/2BYRH4n
Wishing you a wonderful week of manifesting!